Last weekend there were two sporting events that featured a
young and ambitious competitor challenging a well-respected veteran of the
sport. Of course, I’m referring to Pacquiao vs. Bradley 2 and Bubba Watson
winning his second green jacket. Before both events, I found myself struggling
to decide who I wanted to see win. In both cases, the young competitors seemed
so remarkable and determined. It would have been exciting to see them win.
There is the possibility of seeing them do something never done before – to
witness history in the making. On the other hand, the veterans have fought long
and hard to earn their celebrity and reputation. To see them win, would just
seem right, comforting in a way. Now, since both events are over we know that
in both cases experience triumphed youth.
I do find it comforting, and I say to myself, “The masters have taught a
lesson to the students.” However, what if youth had won?
It is an age-old dilemma. If we are good at mentoring then at some point
the student will challenge and surpass us. Sometimes this is a cherished event,
such as when a child has a higher quality of life than the parent. But
sometimes when a mentee moves beyond a mentor it is really painful, such as
when a younger, less experienced candidate beats us out for a project, job,
boxing match, or golf championship. How does a mentor gracefully handle a loss
to a mentee?
Certainly, the first self-critical thought that comes into
our mind when this happens is that we are antiquated or out of touch – we just
don’t have what it takes anymore. Fears of being unneeded or incompetent creep
in. However, we can abate those critical thoughts and fears if we first
recognize that we are having them, they are thoughts not facts, and then use
them as a catalyst for change.
A useful philosophy is that we are simultaneously
masters and students. If we have lost a competition of value to us, it is just
as important for us to recognize our areas of growth as it is for an inexperienced
student. The difference is as you gain experience areas of growth become more
nebulous, abstract, and self-created. This is a sign of mastery. I believe
Pacquiao won his second fight against Bradley because he was able to capture
what he did wrong in the first fight and change it. He was willing to learn
from his mistake even if he was the veteran in the fight. He realized that in his first fight his
greatest weakness was that he assumed he would win. He captured his overarching
growth area for the second fight in an interview when he quoted the Bible and
said, “The exalted shall be humbled, and the humble exalted.”
